Me and my girlfriend are fine. Better actually. Our intimacy levels are back to the way they used to. It’s like these guys who text me everyday cause her to think “What if I lose her?”
Also,I just wanna have a fun day with my best friends…just one.
Both are busy.
Well one more than the other.
It feels horrible cause she’s been my best friend since 7th grade. She kinda just threw me away for her bf. She even told me she didn’t think she could spend the night cause of his SISTERS party….
I get it. He’s her world but still….I haven’t seen her in THREE months. She’s seen him A LOT more than she’s seen me.
Danny’s my world…my love and my life. We’ve been together for almost ten months. Longer than my best friend and her bf….if she wanted to chill with me when Danny had a family affair then she’d understand if I told her I’d be with my best friend. .__. I guess I care too much? Maybe I shouldn’t even say these things…it’s whatever. I guess I’ll be alone and count on Danny to try to fill that void that’s empty in me…..
I think its like this for me.
I fall in love with someone. I give them my very all and at the beginning it seems all fair. In the middle I’m blamed for fucking up somehow and I ask how? By loving you? Isn’t that what you wanted?
As time goes by they begin to get annoyed by me. By my very existence. By every little thing I do. The once amazing and beautiful girl I once was perishes away. In their eyes I become this nuisance, this ugly horrifying girl. I’m no longer beautiful and slowly someone takes my place and I don’t even know.
Then at the end I give up. I say goodbye and try to see if someone else is there to actually treat me like I’m beautiful. Like I should’t try to make them happy all the time and we can have equal happiness.
That I’ll be all they ever need.
That I AM all they need.
Someone who won’t cheat on me. Who won’t leave me for someone else. Someone who won’t keep things from me. Someone who will love me and cherish me like every day maybe my last with them.
I want someone to be with me. To care about whether I’m sad or mad or upset….
I guess I’m full of needs…but I’ve never been in a relationship where they actually focused on me. It’s always been me focusing EVERYTHING on them and getting nothing in return. Maybe a broken heart can count but in this case it doesn’t…..
I just want to be simply loved.
Just loved.
